


Blurry, Nonetheless

by echo_wolf



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-30
Updated: 2013-08-30
Packaged: 2017-12-25 01:57:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/947262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/echo_wolf/pseuds/echo_wolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The two times Kelley said "I miss you", the two times Kelley said "I love you", and the two times Kelley never said "be with me"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The title comes from Beside You by Marianas Trench.

**September – December 2006**

They found each other by chance, by some serendipitous moment the week before their first season at Stanford started and they were still vaguely familiar with the members of the soccer team. They both enjoyed working outside of playing soccer; somehow, both of them came up with a brilliant idea to sneak into the Stanford’s gym facility, completely unaware that anyone could walk into the place with no questions asked as long as teams weren’t in there using the equipment.

Ali Riley was the first to reach the door, unknowing of Kelley O’Hara lurking behind her to also reach the door after the former would get in. She walked in swiftly as Kelley noticed her short, muscular stature. She had the build of an athlete, her dark hair in a pony tail. But Kelley had to move and move fast because her cover was increasing the distance between them, so she walked as nonchalantly as an O’Hara could and made her entrance.

Kelley was glad no one noticed her; she smiled triumphantly for accomplishing such a feat as sneaking into a facility. But her pride was cut short for she stumbled over something very hard and very much made out of metal. She had fallen face forward with a thud. She heard a gasp and footsteps coming towards her. She rolled onto her back and found someone standing over her. It was the girl that had gone in before her, the athlete girl.

The said girl giggled and held out a hand. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks.” Kelley said graciously as she was helped up by the friendly athletic girl. They laughed for a moment and Kelley found it to be a good time to introduce herself, “I’m Kelley, by the way.”

“Ali.” She smiled warmly with sincerity. “Nice to meet you. Are you new here?”

“It’s my first semester.” Kelley admitted as she lifted her hand to scratch the back of her head.

Ali giggled, “Wouldn’t have guessed.”

“Not my best entrance.” Kelley smiled, “What about you?”

“Same.”

Kelley nodded and would have admitted that she wouldn’t have guessed, but she didn’t want to steal her line and be all awkward. So she thought of a different direction to take the conversation, “What brings you to the gym?”

“I like to work out and since soccer season hasn’t started,” The dark-haired girl looked around, “I guess, I’m here.”

“Wait,” Kelley’s eyes widened, her mind reeling at the name she was recognizing just now, “You’re Ali Riley, right?”

“That’s me.”

“You’re on the soccer team.”

“Mmhm.” Ali tilted her head, as if trying to remember the roster and face and names of all the people she met at the welcome banquet, “Are you? O’Hara, is it?”

“Yeah, I play forward.”

“Oh cool. I play right back.” Ali smiled and Kelley took notice. It was a smile that resembled a cheeky grin, but Kelley could tell by the crinkling of the eyes that it was a smile, her smile. “So, I think this means we’re workout buddies.”

“I suppose you’re right.”

***

And from there, a friendship started. They would have met on the team, anyway, but something about their first meeting made them click even better than anyone could have imagined. Fast forward through a semester of late-night conversations, work-outs, practices, text messages, and one too many inside jokes and they find themselves separating for winter break It was the first time the newly made best friends were going to be apart for the school year. Kelley was going back home to Georgia while Ali was going back home to LA. It was hard to believe that they met on a few months before.

***

The night Kelley arrived in Georgia, she dialed a number she had so well engrained in her head over the course of the few months at Stanford.

“Hello?” The familiar voice sounded on the line. “Kelley? Kells? Are you home? Did you make it home safe?”

“Hey, Kiwi,” She answered back, “I’m fine. I’m home and I’m safe. How about you? When did you get home?”

“A few hours ago.” Ali sighed and Kelley could tell something was troubling her friend.

“What’s up, buttercup?”

“It feels weird being back home, you know?”

“I know, right?” Kelley said in disbelief, “to think we wanted to go home halfway through the semester.”

“Look at us now.”

There was a giggle and then more silence. It wasn’t a weird silence, wasn’t the type that was awkward and filled with longing to say something to fill the emptiness. They were used to this type; their type of silence-- like all they needed was the other’s presence to be content.

The forward sighed and breathed into the phone, “I miss you, Kiwi.”

“Miss you, too, Kells.”

 

**December 2009**

Two yellow cards. Out. Done.

Kelley buried her head in her hands as she sat on the bench. Maybe she was far too excited and couldn’t control the tackles. But what was done, was done. There was no going back and changing it. She would be receiving the Hermann Trophy this year and she went and got herself removed from the last game of her collegiate career. When the final whistle blew and Stanford had lost the College Cup, the team walked back to the locker room. She had let her team down and she was going to take no consolation. This was her fault. No one looked at her when the coaches were talking and cheering the team up: _Better luck next year. Work harder. Be better. We will be the best and show what the Cardinals are made of. Seniors, good luck on your future endeavors._

No one looked at her on the bus, either. She supposed they were all sad and that she looked more upset than anyone else; thus, they kept their distance. The coaches gave her sympathetic, but disappointed pats on the back. But she was still alone at the back of the bus. She sat alone with her thoughts for a good ten minutes until someone was brave enough to join her and take the seat next to her. She looked over and it was Ali, her eyes sad but filled with concern for the upset forward.

Ali didn’t say anything, though. With the four years that they were friends, Ali knew better than to say anything at times like this. Kelley would just get more upset, but Ali learned over the years that it was best to sit with the forward. Just sit. Wrap an arm around her and sit. Wait. Be there.

And for the first time in all their friendship, Kelley finally spoke after a moment of vulnerability, “I love you.”

Kelley just felt the arms around her tighten and lips meet with her forehead. Ali didn’t need to say anything because they both knew the response that hung in the air. Somehow, it didn’t need a response. Somehow, Kelley said everything that needed to be said in those three words.

 

**2010**

It was the year of their lives so far; the best year they could ask for fresh from college. They both signed onto play for the WPS FC Gold Pride team in the Bay Area. The season was filled with lots of travel, lots of videos for Ali’s insatiable hobby of making videos, and lots more time together as roommates and teammates.

Ali made Kelley be in every single of Ali’s videos. Kelley and Ali’s Corner, they called it. They had team updates, interviews, and lots of dancing and singing (most of which were done by Kelley and Ali themselves). Kelley loved every minute of it. She loved seeing how much team spirit the team had. They had fun playing soccer and doing what they loved. And Kelley was grateful to Ali who captured the personality of the different players on the team.

Ali was able to capture Kelley’s goofball moments, her laughs, her dorky composure, her spastic technique to winning dodgeball, and even her love of squirrels. Kelley didn’t mind. It made Ali happy and gained quite a fan-following on YouTube. And it was just one more thing they bonded over. Kelley would sometimes switch a few clips when Ali had fallen asleep at her laptop, and the older girl would glare at her when the switch was realized. In the end, Ali actually approved almost all of Kelley’s attempts to be mischievous in the editing process.

In August, the season ended and they had won the championships on their first Women’s Pro Soccer team. They were part of a league championship team their first year out of college. But reality struck them hard when news was announced that the team was to be disbanded during the off-season.

***

Kelley walked into the living room and plopped herself next to her friend and roommate. “Did you get the call?”

Ali replied with a sigh and winced, “Yeah. It sucks.”

“East coast teams it is then, right?”

The New Zealand defender chuckled, “Always looking on the bright side, aren’t you, O’Hara?”

“Well, we need it. We thought we’d be here until they traded us off, not be here until the team goes up in financial smoke.”

“Awful isn’t it?” Ali looked up and around at the house she rented with her best friend and two other teammates, “I really enjoyed it here. I love the Bay Area.”

Kelley scooted a little closer to her friend, her arm finding its way around small shoulders, “Me too. But this will work out, right?”

Resting her head on the forward’s shoulder, the defender breathed in the moment. “Kelley?”

“Yeah?” Kelley looked down, hazel eyes searching in worrying brown eyes. “Ali, what’s--

“I love you, too”

The older girl looked away from Kelley’s gaze and waited for some kind of response. This time, there needed to be a response because they weren’t in college anymore. They weren’t in the back of the bus after a terrible loss. They were on the couch in the house they shared with a few of their teammates, but they both knew that they weren’t going to be roommates for long.

Kelley didn’t know how to respond, her mouth agape and her eyes unable to focus on anything else aside from Ali’s eyes. “What does that mean? For us, I mean.”

“I don’t know.” Ali sighed, “Western New York Flash gave me an offer this morning if I wanted to join their club.”

“Oh.”  The younger girl looked down sadly, “What did you say?”

“I told them I’d call them back with my answer.”

“What’s keeping you here? The offer sounds promising.”

Ali thought about it for a moment, but answered, “It’ll be different, won’t it?” Kelley nodded, not really finding it in herself to give enthusiasm as she normally would. Ali smiled sympathetically and offered, “You could move to the East Coast, too. We could be roomies again. You’d be closer to your family….”

Upon the sentence trailing off, silence ensued; a silence so unfamiliar to them. There was no comfort in it. There was so much to be said, but nothing came out.

Ali, unable to handle the silence, said a quick apology and went off to the room they shared. The young striker was left beside herself. The dream year she enjoyed and cherished so much was coming to an abrupt end. She lost her team and now she was pretty close to losing her best friend.

***

The night before move-out day was quiet, aside from the sound from boxes being taped closed. When she was done and tired, Kelley went into the room she shared with Ali and found Ali on her bed. She sighed and thought that it would be now or never to make things better between them. If she thought about it, she was the one who didn’t try to see the better side of things at the time.

So, Kelley climbed into Ali’s bed and held her best friend as close as she ever did before. Sheplaced a kiss on dark hair and watched as the girl in her arms turned in a circle to meet her eyes.

“Hey, you.” Kelley smiled.

“Hey, yourself,” The raspy voice responded with a smile evident in its tone. And all in a moment, brown eyes were suddenly wrought with affliction. “Are you still mad at me?”

“I’ve never been mad at you.” The hazel-eyed girl replied softly, “I just didn’t know what to say. I’m happy for you, but I didn’t want to lose you at the same time.”

Ali laughed, “You don’t lose a bestie that easily.” Kelley refused to make eye contact, like she should have known that since elementary school. “Kells…”

Their lips met slowly and firmly, moving and dancing together in harmony. They opened their eyes as both of them blushed profusely, color reddening even Ali’s tanned features. Their eyes met again and Kelley found herself smiling into the kiss. Their hands roamed while their legs tangled. Breaths turned shallower with every deepening kiss.  Moans escaped, hands found each other, and bodies intertwined as one.

***

The sunlight of the morning woke Kelley the next morning, blinding her eyes the moment she opened them. She felt a weight against her body and flashes of the night before came back to her. She smiled brightly at the sight before her. Ali’s features were captured by just the right amount of sunlight to make her skin glow, her dark hair splayed across Kelley’s chest.

Much to Kelley’s dislike, Ali started to shift away from her. Ali’s head lifted as she scanned her surroundings. She almost looked worried until she found Kelley beaming at her. She blushed and Kelley kissed her.

“Good morning.”

Ali smiled and Kelley was reminded of the day they met. That smile. Kelley loved it and reveled in it, the way it tricked her into thinking it was a grin but her eyes confirmed that it was truly her smile.

Instead, she closed the little distance there was between them. She embraced the girl in her arms, unable to say anything. She didn’t want to let go. She just wanted to stay there as they were for as long as they could get away with.

Ali shifted again and asked, “What do I do about the Flash?”

It was the question lingering in the back of Kelley’s mind, and she was sure that it was in Ali’s mind, too. She sighed, stroking Ali’s arm as if she had been doing it her whole life. What she wanted most out of anything was for Ali to be happy. If she knew the dark haired girl, she knew that if, by chance, Kelley asked her to stay, Ali would drop the offer. She didn’t want that. She didn’t want to be in the way of her career. There were ways of making a long distance relationship work, she was sure. But, if Kelley was scared before, she was paralyzed with fear now. Whatever way she saw it, she was going to lose her best friend.

 _Be with me_ , Kelley wanted to whisper to her. But instead, she said, “Are you kidding? You take that job and be the damn best right back they’ve ever had wearing their jersey.”

Ali looked down sadly, “This is it, then?”

It was a loaded question. They both knew it, and they both knew the answer.

Kelley could only kiss her firmly on the lips.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two times Kelley said "I miss you", the two times Kelley said "I love you", and the two times Kelley never said "be with me"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title comes from Beside You by Marianas Trench.

**December 31, 2011 – January 2012**

A year had passed since they had lain in bed when Kelley finalized Ali’s decision to play for the Flash with a kiss. A few months had passed since they shared a hug the last time their club teams played against each other during the WPS season. They still called each other, still sent each other text messages, and still updated each other about their lives; Ali was having the time of her life playing on the New Zealand national team and Kelley secured herself a spot on the roster for the US national team. Despite all the stories that could have been shared, their conversations were always filled with silences they weren’t used to-- silences they hated.

But here she was at Ali’s door for her New Year’s Eve party. Why Kelley was here, she was still contemplating. The door opened and Kelley lost her breath along with any other thought telling her to back out. The strength she mustered within herself to get here was only hanging by a thread at the sight of Ali: Her hair was down, her eyes bright, and her smile as magical as she always remembered.

Before she knew it, Ali swept her into a hug. She hugged back and smiled into familiar dark tresses. “Hey, Kiwi.”

“Hey yourself, Kells.”

And just like that, it was like nothing happened.

Well, at least, that’s what Kelley thought at that moment in time. But, every time the dark-haired girl came near her that night, her immediate instinct was to get closer. She knew to keep her distance, though. Every time Ali’s fingertips brushed across her arm, she felt her skin burn and wanted to entwine their fingers together. But she knew to keep her hands to herself.

Kelley found herself looking at the lights hanging on the wall. She could picture Ali setting them up, listening to Christmas music and inching closer and closer to nearly falling off the chair. The growing noise in the living room signaled that it was almost midnight and there would be yet another year. She walked into the room where everyone gathered and she was handed a glass of champagne.

_5…4…3…2…1…Happy New Year!_

Hazel eyes sought out certain chocolate ones in the room. When their eyes finally connected, Kelley raised her glass to find that Ali returned the gesture. They didn’t know who moved first, only that Kelley had suddenly found herself behind the brunette. All her efforts to stay away had been foiled by this decision alone. Her arms slipped around a familiar waist, their hips moving in tune to the music.  She placed soft kisses on dark hair as Ali leaned back against her. It was just the two of them, regardless of the guests around the room. It was Kelley and Ali in a world all their own; it was Kelley getting lost in brunette tresses and it was Ali getting lost in Kelley’s embrace.

When the last of the guests went home for the night, Kelley was propped up against the wall under the lights, her arms crossed and her head tilted slightly, studying the brunette closely. She watched as Ali locked the door and leaned against it for a moment. Kelley pushed herself off the wall and quickly strode to the defender’s side. She brushed a lock of hair behind Ali’s ear, revealing a tear rolling down her cheek. Without hesitation, she pulled the girl into her arms and held on tight.

“What’s up, buttercup?”  She asked tenderly, rubbing small circles on her back.

“I thought it’d be the same having you here, like old times” Ali sniffled, but continued to bury her face into Kelley’s chest. “But, it’s not.”

This only caused the taller girl to tighten her embrace, “I know.”

The brunette pulled away, leaving Kelley to stare at her with anticipation and confusion.  She walked away into the hallway towards her bedroom with the other girl trailing very close behind. Ali abruptly turned around and stopped girl behind her. “We can’t…”

“Then we won’t. I’m here. I’m right beside you.” Kelley’s voice broke, worry coloring her features. Ali shook her head and turned away “What’s wrong, Kiwi?”

The only answer she received was Ali’s lips crashing against hers. They found their way to the bed, clinging onto each other. Kelley broke their kiss and gazed into brown eyes, searching for something to give. Ali nuzzled closer to Kelley’s neck, placing a kiss on her pulse. Kelley stroked her hair and laid a lingering kiss on her forehead, shutting her eyes and breathing in the familiar scent of fruity shampoo. There wasn’t another word spoken, just promises and wishes floating around them as they lay in each other’s arms.

Kelley woke up the next morning and found she was alone. She stretched and turned to discover a note in Ali’s handwriting:

_Kells, Thanks for last night. I hope you have fun surfing in Cali this week. Love, Kiwi._

With a sigh and a heavy heart, she grabbed the note and walked out of the house.

***

The waves ebbed and flowed as Tobin was on her board paddling back to Kelley, who was staring at the water as she waded with her board. It was just like old times, during their days on the Pali Blues. But, Tobin noticed something was off.

“You actually going to surf today, Kelley?” Tobin asked, wiping water out of her eyes. “You haven’t taken a wave at all.”

Kelley was shaken out of her thoughts, “Oh, um, I was just thinking is all.”

Tobin studied her friend for a moment and then stared up to the sky, “She loves you, you know. It’s the only explanation.”

“What are you talking about?”

Tobin shrugged, “I saw the note in your trunk.”

“Nothing happened that night.”

“Hey, I’m not here to judge.” She answered with a reassuring smile, “It just seems simple enough.”

“Does it?” It wasn’t surprising that Tobin knew or that Tobin had her opinions about the matter. Kelley has only opened up a few times about Ali, and Tobin was always at the other end of those conversations.

“No one wants to lose their best friend, especially when they become something more.”

Kelley stared at the midfielder in awe, “How are you this relaxed? Like, seriously?”

“Drugs.” Tobin said flatly, “And lots of it.”

“Really?”

The midfielder grinned cheekily and splashed water at her friend, “No!” They shared a laugh and Tobin turned a bit more serious, “Don’t sweat the small stuff, man.” She pushed her hands through the water, “Take a wave and go with it.”

“What if you feel like it’s too big, impossible to take, you know?”

“Dude,” Tobin shot her a smile, “that’s when you know it’s worth taking.” The midfielder turned around and scanned the oncoming waves. “You should take this one.” Kelley didn’t budge and just looked down at her board. She felt a hand on her shoulder, “You wanna talk it out?”

It was then she realized the one way the pain and the emptiness could be explained: “I think I miss her, Tobs.”

“Then you’re just going to have to tell her.”

***

Kelley collapsed onto her bed, exhausted from being on the water all day. Once Tobin finally convinced her to take a few waves, she didn’t hold back. She had to admit it was therapeutic. She sighed and picked up her phone.

The voice on the other line calmed all her previous qualms instantly, “Kells?”

“Hey, Kiwi.”

“Sorry, I didn’t wait for you the other day. I had stuff to take care of. You know how it is.”

They both knew it was a lie, but Kelley went with it, anyway. “I understand.”

“It’s different now, isn’t it?”

It was another loaded question; one that neither of them knew how to answer. If they had an answer, it would either mean a step forward or a step away. There would be no going back to the way it used to be. New Year’s alone was enough to prove that.

Kelley didn’t have an answer, but she mustered all that was in her to admit: “I miss you.”

 “Me too, Kells.” There was a sigh, almost of relief, “Me too.”

**August 1-2, 2012**

The national team was having breakfast together as per usual in the hotel as the game against New Zealand was approaching fast and the team was that much closer to the quarters, semis and the finals. Everyone was at their usual tables: Hope laughing with Carli, Syd, and Jill ; Abby conversing with Mittsy, Christie and HAO; the new kids joking enthusiastically with Alex and Meghan; Pinoe trying out new handshakes with Lori; Barnie doing crosswords with Rachel and Amy. Kelley and Christen were late and had joined Becky who was sitting alone and had her head stuck in a book.

Christen and Becky had an animated conversation about the book Becky was reading, talking about metaphors and such that Kelley couldn’t really follow due to lack of interest. She could talk physics all day, but literary stuff interested her way less. Somehow the conversation drifted to something else, but she also didn’t follow that. She was still half asleep and enjoying her breakfast.

Kelley’s head snapped up from her waffles when her former Stanford teammate started laughing hysterically. “What?” The only response was even more laughter and a giggle from the fellow defender across the table. “Press, what’s the matter with you?”

She looked to Becky, who only proceeded to smile, shrug, and stick her head back in her book.

Christen merely giggled, “I just think it’s humorous that you are still in complete denial of your feelings.”

The other girl simply cocked her head to the side in complete confusion, “My feelings about what?”

“You mean,” Christen corrected, “About whom.”

“Excuse me?” If Kelley was confused before, she was just out of her mind now. She looked at her friend with such astonishment that it drew out even more laughter. “Press!” The former Stanford forward was simply guffawing at the table now, attracting the attention of the other members on the national team. It didn’t take long for Kelley to pick up her things, smack Christen on the arm, bid Becky goodbye and walk back up to her room.

Without a misstep, Kelley opened the door to the room she shared with Alex and jumped onto her bed. Practice and recovery wouldn’t be until later, so she had plenty of time to just be alone with her thoughts. She put in her headphones and stared off at the ceiling. She didn’t know how long she sat there or if she had drifted off to sleep because the next thing she knew, a body landed on top of her.

Taking out her music, she squealed and squirmed before looking up frantically to find Alex laughing above her. “Kelley!”

Calming down and shoving the striker off of her, she jokes, “Get off, Alex. Don’t you know you’re heavy? Even these babies,” She referred to her biceps, flexing shamelessly, “can’t handle you.”

Alex stuck out her tongue and settled down next to Kelley, “Kell?”

“Hmm?”

“What was Christen on about earlier? You seemed upset.”

“I was more confused and annoyed than I was upset.” Kelley sighed and threw Alex a look, “You noticed?”

“The entire room noticed. Pia thought she ate your waffles or something.” The young striker giggled, “So, Mittsy told her that a squirrel might be involved.” Kelley cocked an eyebrow and her friend continued, “Then Pia thought Christen ate a squirrel and had to walk out of the room.”

They burst out in laughter, bumping shoulders. “You guys have to give me more credit than that.” Kelley grinned, “Christen would never come near a squirrel if I was involved. Actually, none of you would.”

“I don’t understand you and squirrels.”

“I’m a whirl of complexity, Morgan. It just adds to my many charms.”

Alex simply rolled her eyes and hit Kelley with a pillow, “Whatever.”

***

The next day, Kelley found herself in better spirits. After breakfast and after the team meeting, Pia told the team to prepare for practice. Kelley was very grateful for practice; she loved it. Not only was she able to play soccer, but she was also able to mess with her other teammates simply because she could. She loved randomly jumping on Mittsy or making fun of Tobin’s hair. There was a great type of atmosphere and energy even if it was all supposed to be practice for the real games. She just felt free. Soccer always did that to her for as long as she could remember.

When practice was finally over, Kelley was tired but satisfied with her progress. She’s been a defender since January, only seven months ago. Not only did she have the starting spot, but she was improving with each and every experience on the ball. She loved feeling like she was getting better, as a defender, as a soccer player, as a person. It was a driving force; a challenge to see just how far she could push herself. She took deep breaths as she sat on the field staring at the grass and letting her mind just flow. She was focused now.

Or so she thought.

“So,” A voice said as a body plopped itself next to her on the field, “if you’re such a charmer, how is it your wonderful charm hasn’t reeled in a significant other for you?”

Kelley looked up, slow to comprehend the unexpected question, and was met with the face of Alex Morgan. “Excuse you?”

The brunette chuckled, “I’m serious!”

“And nosy!”

“Come on, Kell! Humour me, please?”

“Well, I’m sorry I couldn’t snap one up like Servando in college.” It was a sniping remark, but Alex let out a cheeky grin-- a foretelling grin. Kelley didn’t want to, but she had to ask, “What?”

“That’s not what I heard.” The striker responded in a sing-song voice.

The defender stared at her friend in horror, “Who have you been talking to?”

“To whom that must not be named,” A voice sounded from behind them, causing Kelley to cringe on the inside as she knew that voice well.

“Mittsy,” Kelley sighed, “I told you not to let out that I’m secretly Harry Potter.”

The fellow defender smiled brightly, while sitting down between her two teammates and slinging an arm around Kelley’s shoulders, and countered cheekily, “Hate to break to it to you, Kell, but you’re not the center of the universe. What you say is not what always goes.”

Alex giggled, pointing at the veteran defender, “I think Mittsy’s implying that the world revolves around her!”

Kelley shook her head, “That’s what she thinks.”

“Thinks?!” Mittsy asks in bewilderment, “I know it!”

“You only think that because of that mask you got of the Queen from a street vendor.”

The older defender shrugged, “It was legit.”

“It makes you look like a plastic, floating grandma head!”

Mittsy pretended to look hurt, but ended up laughing instead. “You know what I think your problem is, O’Hara?” Kelley stared blankly, “You’re not getting any.”

“Any what?”

The young striker and the older defender before her burst out in laughter. The blonde momentarily stopped her laughter to reply, “Exactly.”

Kelley sighed in defeat, shook her head, and got up to pat both her friends on the head before heading off to the locker room. The team was acting so strange—well, more strange than of the norm. No one really paid much attention to her unless she slips on the lawn of one of the most famous castles or unless she proves how inept she is at golf in one of the most golf-oriented countries in the world. She was just the girl who could beat everyone at fitness testing; the girl who would be outright obnoxiously laughing at embarrassing moments; the girl who had little to no personal problems. She wanted to keep it that way.

The defender walked slowly to the bus that would take them back to the hotel when someone bumped shoulders with her. She turned her head to find Hope smiling in all her Hope fashion, her arms swinging and the string of her bag just over her shoulder. The keeper made eye-contact and offered, “Might be better to talk about it. Beats the heavy, hooded look you’ve been carrying around lately.” Kelley smiled gratefully, and Hope continued, “Besides, it would get everyone off your back. Trust me.” With that, Hope gave her a quick wink and hurried off to catch up with Carli only a few steps ahead. She smiled to herself. Leave it to Hope to be discrete in her concern. She boarded the bus and found a seat alone, drifting in and out of sleep all the way back to the hotel.

***

On her way to her room, Kelley was stopped by the famous New Kids: Tobin, Lauren and Amy. “KO!”

Amy seemed to be the most energetic out of the three. She smiled, “Hey, you wanna watch the Bachelor with us?”

The defender declined, “No, thanks. You guys go ahead.”

“How about a chick flick?” Lauren stepped in and offered, smiling with concern.

Kelley, although confused, was touched by the team’s efforts to make sure she was alright, but declined once more, “Thanks, but I’ll just be in my room.”

The duo looked disappointed, but cheerfully went off to Amy’s room after telling her they’d see her at dinner. Kelley sighed, but forgot Tobin was still there. “You know…”

Kelley nearly jumped. “Ninja much?”

“Oblivious much?”

“Touché.”

Tobin smiled and chuckled, “You know what they were doing, right?”

“Make me have feelings to talk about using the premise of the show and/or movie they were going to show me?”

“More or less.”

Kelley let out a small laugh, “Tobs, can I ask you something?” Tobin nodded and beckoned for her to continue. “Is it always this obvious that something’s wrong with me?”

“Not usually.” Tobin admitted, “But yesterday at breakfast made everyone wonder. You didn’t finish your waffles.” She shrugged, “It wasn’t as noticeable as the surfing trip back in January if that’s what you’re asking.”

“I **think** I’m fine. I feel like I’m happier, you know?”  Kelley shrugged.

“Are you?”

“I don’t know how I feel, really.” It was the truth, the epitome of her existence as of late.

Tobin gave a sympathetic smile and a pat on the shoulder, “Wanna borrow my surf magazines?”

Kelley giggled. That normally made her feel better, but somehow she didn’t feel like it. “No, thanks.”

“Wanna borrow my bible?” Tobin was grinning madly, almost as if she was joking, but Kelley knew better. The girl from New Jersey never jokes about her bible.

Bless her soul, Kelley thought to herself. “Nah, man. I appreciate it, but I think I’ll just settle down a bit before dinner.”

“Alright.” Tobin shrugged and patted her on the shoulder once more before heading down the opposite direction of the hallway.

Kelley opened the door and called out for her roommate, “Alex, you in here?” She heard movement and some rustling, now annoyed, but continued to enter the room, “Morgan, you could at least—”

Kelley stopped dead in her tracks, her bag dropping to her feet and her heart dropping to her stomach. She had to blink multiple times before she could process the image before her.

“Hi, Kells.” That wasn’t Alex’s voice. That was not her roommate. No one called her that. Except for—and she knew it because she knew that voice well. She knew it better than anything else. So many nights, so many phone calls, so many conversations were enveloped in that voice.

“Ali?” She couldn’t believe it. Ali Riley was standing before her.

“Surprise?” Ali’s voice kind of went up in a lame attempt to cheer up the astonished girl in front of her.

Kelley had to force herself to respond, to say anything at all, only to find that she was stammering, “Why- How- I don’t- What are you doing here?”

“Alex called me up for a Flash reunion of sorts, to catch up and all.” The New Zealand defender winced, “I didn’t know you two were rooming together. She didn’t say and I-“

“Didn’t ask.” Kelley finished, sighing. “Where is she, anyway?”

Ali shrugged, “She said she was going to borrow some stuff from Sydney and Lauren.” She took a step toward Kelley, who still couldn’t move from her spot, “How have you been?”

“Great. I mean, it’s the Olympics, right?” Kelley studied the dark haired girl before her, “I’m really surprised you’re here.”

“You can’t be that surprised.”

“Well, I am.”

“We do have a match tomorrow.”

“I mean, like, you being in my hotel room,” The brunette looked down,“It won’t be like Stanford, though.” Kelley continued, “And it won’t be like the Pride.”

“Isn’t it better, though?” Ali received a confused look, but returned an endearing smile.

Kelley nodded, but found sudden interest in her feet as her eyes wouldn’t dare look up, “It’s not how I would have pictured it, if you had asked me three years ago.”

She had meant it in more ways than one.

Ali’s voice sounded like it got closer; “I always knew you’d be here.”

“You thought I’d be a defender like you?” Kelley looked up to find brown orbs searching for something in her eyes.

“Not quite. But close enough.”

Ali was inches away now and Kelley still couldn’t get herself to move, to pull away, and to do anything at all that required motor skills. At this point, she wasn’t sure if she couldn’t move or wouldn’t move. All she knew was that the distance between them was disappearing with every blink of an eye. The second their lips were supposed to touch, the door opened to reveal half of her teammates peering in.

Sydney was the first to comment: “Ooh, get it, girl!”

Mittsy followed up, “Told you, you needed to get some!”

“Alright, Kell!” Abby easily saw over her teammates heads and nodded approvingly.

Alex pushed through her teammates to close the door, not fast enough to block out HAO’s confusion: “Wait, I missed it! What’s going on?”

The two friends distanced themselves from each other as Alex walked through. “So, did you guys catch up?”

Kelley knew what had just happened and she glared at her roommate, who was completely avoiding eye contact and making her way to the bathroom, “Yeah, kinda.”

The young striker walked out and announced, “Well, I’m all ready. I can wait for you in the hallway if you want.”

“Thanks, Alex.” Ali said, “I’ll be out in a minute.”

Alex opened the door and HAO came stumbling in. She looked up sheepishly, but gave the two defenders a thumbs up before rushing back out with her teammates. There were murmurs and giggles. One especially sounded like: “Way to go, HAO.”

The door closed once more and they were alone again.

“You left.” Kelley said it as if it were a matter of fact.

Ali sighed, “If I remember correctly, you gave me the go.”

“I told you to take the job.” The taller girl moved closer, “I didn’t say leave me New Year’s morning.”

“Would it have changed anything?” Hazel eyes averted, and brown eyes followed, “Kelley?”

“Maybe…I don’t know.”

But they both knew. They both knew it well. If things were said and if neither had left, they would be on a different path. But that wasn’t the case, and their paths diverted.

“It’s different without you.” Ali whispered, inching towards the taller girl.

“You miss my irresistible charm?” Kelley smirked and pulled the brunette closer so that their bodies flushed together.

Ali lightly brushed her lips against Kelley’s, “I think I miss your squirrel plush more.”

They smiled into the kiss, breaking to laugh.

Kelley pulled the shorter girl into a tight hug, whispering, “What would I do without you?”

“Sulk and avoid your teammates’ advice.” The US defender shook her head, realizing who Alex’s source was all along. Ali placed a quick kiss on Kelley’s cheek, “I should go.”

Kelley watched as the brunette walked towards the door, and made a move to catch her hand. Before Ali could ask what was wrong, Kelley explained, “Whatever happens tomorrow, whatever idiotic decisions I make in the future; just know that I meant what I said. I’m right beside you. I’ll always be.” She was met with the smile she marveled in since the moment she saw it so many years before, “I love you.”

**August 3, 2012**

Kelley woke up the next morning to find Alex sleeping soundly in her bed. The defender only had one thought. She picked up her pillow and started hitting the sleeping striker repeatedly.

“What the hell, O’Hara?!” Alex jumped out of bed, blinking furiously at her roommate. “Can’t you tell when people are sleeping?”

“You orchestrated an entire operation to get Ali and me and in the same room.”

Alex looked outraged, “And this is how you repay me?! Tobin would be upset, too, you know—if this is how you repay her.”

 “She was in on it, too?!” After receiving the confirming nod, Kelley threw her pillow at the striker, “You really are nosy, you know that?”

“Wouldn’t, I don’t know,” Alex suggested, tossing the pillow back, “caring and supportive be more appropriate? It worked, didn’t it?” The older girl glared at the brunette, leaving question as to what the defender was going to do to her. Kelley jumped on Alex’s bed and leapt onto the terrified striker. They landed on the floor with a thud, and Alex scrambled to escape, “Kell, get off. You’re heavy, too, you jerk.”

“Too bad you don’t have guns like mine.” Kelley said proudly, getting up. She held out a hand to help her roommate, “Thanks.”

Alex grinned, making her way to the bathroom, “Wait until I tell the team!”

***

The game ended in good spirits, the team was floored by Sydney’s late goal to lock in their spot in the semifinal. They were still on the field all gathered around Sydney, all cheering and all laughing. Kelley noticed the New Zealand team heading for the tunnel that led to the locker rooms. She was able to sneak away and locate a certain brunette trailing behind the rest of the football ferns. She waited until the rest of the team had turned into the corridor and ran towards her target. She came up from behind and wrapped her arms around the dark haired girl.

Ali giggled as the taller girl spun her around, “Kells!”

“You were great.”

“So were you. Congratulations.” Ali gazed up to hazel eyes, “What are you doing here?”

Kelley rested her forehead against the shorter girl’s before finally saying, “I just wanted to see you before you head back to the Olympic Village.”

The brunette blushed, “I’ll miss you, too, but you didn’t have to do this. We’ll see each other again.”

“Well,” And then Kelley stopped. _I miss you_ , she wanted to say; _I love you,_ she wanted to scream; _I want you to be with me_ , she wanted to whisper. But she knew better than anyone that those were things meant to be unsaid. It was like they didn’t need to be said, like they were said a long time ago in the silences they loved so much. Saying it out loud would be redundant. So, in this moment, when Ali’s lips touched hers, she let it all go. Her arms found way around Ali’s waist, trailing up until her hands found comfort on Ali’s cheeks. She brushed her thumb along Ali’s jaw line and pulled back.

“I know.”

“You can read minds now?” The taller girl looked at the brunette quizzically.

Ali shook her head, “You’re just not good at hiding your thoughts.”

“How are you able to see my thoughts so clearly?” Kelley asked, “They’re pretty blurry from my end.”

The brunette merely pulled the girl closer to her to place a chaste kiss on Kelley’s lips, “Because I know you.” Another kiss, “And I’m beside you, too.”

“Always?”

“I’ve only left you once.”

“Same here.”

“I think this might be a truce.”

“I suppose you’re right.” Kelley grins as she remembers the first time she said that to the girl in front of her.

They shared a deep kiss as silence surrounded them, just the distance chatter of the crowd in the seats near the tunnel. It was a familiar silence, the one they’ve been missing for a while.

***

When Kelley made it back to the field, she was met with hugs and waggling eyebrows.

Mittsy was the first to notice her return, “Oooh. Where have _you_ been?”

Christen, who made it onto the field while she was gone, patted her on the back, “Took you long enough, O’Hara! Do you know how much money people owe me back at Stanford?”

“So, it’s official?” Kelley could swear A-Rod was bouncing from her spot next to Lauren.

“Get it, get it, get it, girl!” Sydney gave her a high-five.

HAO walked over and asked, “Did I miss something?” 

Christie, who was running around chasing Reece, grabbed HAO as she passed: “Come on, Heather.” She quickly turned and smiled at her fellow backline member.

Kelley found the mastermind and smacked her on the arm. The unsuspecting striker looked at her teammate in disbelief, “What was that for?”

“Did you really tell the entire team?”

“You’re welcome.” Alex smiled and walked off with Sydney.

The defender rolled her eyes and laughed. She took in the sight of her team celebrating around her, happy they’re into the semifinals for the Olympics. They were like a family, her family—supportive and loving even when not asked for. She remembered the years feeling misplaced every place she went after graduating from Stanford. But this, this feeling overcoming her right now, was exactly what she had dreamt of—there was even a place for Ali in her life.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a tap on the shoulder. She was met with bright eyes and goofy smile, “Was the wave worth it, man?”

Kelley didn’t know how exactly she got to that moment in time, how she was fulfilling her dreams, how she ever truly told Ali how she felt. It was all a blur to her, a fast rolling ride that stopped for nothing and no one. Even when she thought she knew what she was doing, she really had no clue whatsoever. But somehow, the cluelessness landed her here.

“Definitely.”

The rest was still a bit blurry, nonetheless.


End file.
